Tag : adoption

January 20, 2018 – 11 am

The 2017 Women’s March was unforgettable. Never have I seen so many people on the streets in DC, or felt such a resurgence of energy for all things equality.

While it was Las Vegas, Nevada that hosted the main Women’s March in 2018, we who showed up at the Lincoln Memorial’s reflecting pool for the 2018 Women’s March to the Polls in DC weren’t exactly disappointed, either.

It was cold, and just a day before, the anti-individual liberty, consumption-uber-alles crowd had shown up, leaving their “Defund Planned Parenthood” signs in the rubbish, right where they belong:

As I, along with my awesome, feminist boyfriend (a real one, not one of these gaslighters offering you praise on facebook and abuse-talk in private) made our way toward the Lincoln Memorial, I ran into plenty of kindred. Having been called a “witch” on several occasions by the woman-hating crowd, I really got into this person’s costume:

I’ve been called plenty of interesting names by those who purport to “wuv da wittle baybees,” including those who’ve lovingly told me in their best Jesus-loves-you voices they were “glad I got cancer” because I “would kill babies.” These woman-hating totalitarians don’t fool me with their claims of “sanctity of life” – it’s more like $anctity of the Almighty Dollar and its next-of-kin, consumerism.

Republican opposition to ACA (and its on-board birth control), and to programs like WIC and SNAP mean a baby’s life ain’t so precious, but it sure as hell is lucrative when, as of 2017, it means a $233,610 injection into Trump’s made-in-China economy. Yep, that is how much raising a child in the US costs. It’s no wonder having a kid plunges so many into poverty, which is the real shame going on here.

And regarding all those “heartfelt” pleas to adopt? Once again, please follow the money: The average cost of newborn adoption in the US through an agency is $43,239, while an adoption through an attorney is $37,829 (and yes, this would obviously be on top of the $233,610 figure, above, for raising a child). It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that many of these agencies embrace every two-bit piece of no-choice legislation, every roadblock to abortion they can get their money-grubbing hands on, complete with those tearful, bleeding-heart conservative cries of “life.” If you’ve fallen for those, congrats – you’ve been marketed to (or perhaps a better word, considering the times, is “conned”).

Having had a casual discussion with an adoption attorney years ago at a party who was hinting at having me bird-dog “marks” (iow, scared, pregnant girls) for him at Penn State, I’d say it’s the latter. He backed off when I told him to…and after I stated I was pro-choice and that he should just pull himself up by the bootstraps instead of cashing in on female bodies.

Adoption is big business, and no wonder I read about so many coerced adoptions these days. And – update – what about those 1500 “lost” kids separated from their parents at the US/Mexico border? If all those children were “relinquished,” what would they be worth to adoption industry profiteers, using the average agency cost of adoption of $43,239? Multiplying $43,239 by 1500, that would yield the nice juicy sum of $64,858,500.

Yes, that’s $64,858,500. Wow – and that’s just for adoptions. Adding in the figure to raise all of those 1500 children – or $305,415,000 – we get a grand total of $415,273,500. What a godsend those anti-abortion laws and family separations are to those running adoption agencies, government child support services, diaper manufacturers, clothing manufacturers (China, big time), and baby food…and, and, and! Coerced childbirth pays off, and it’s easy to see why and for whom. And – of course – it’s women’s bodies being used to deliver the profitable “product” – a newborn consumer.

But, the pussy-grabbers and money-grubbers left out some very important things, like individual liberty and, if you’re a believer, god-given free will. Those pesky things! And to think, women were actually born with brains, the nerve! We should just all be headless wombs for profiteering, bodies for the taking. No worries, mates – sexbots are on the way, but be warned: You will have to pay for them.

It is no mystery the fetishization of the fetus – i.e., all those signs you see, showing a disembodied, curled up embryo with the woman on whom it depends nowhere to be found – is all the rage among the profiteering right and their pornographic, wallet-driven obsession with my uterus. I was happy to stand in front of them at the March to the Polls:

[Photo by Matt Neufeld]

But, think I will, and choose I do. As the sign below says, My Pussy, My Rules. I make judgement calls every day, from all options available, my uterus being no exception. It’s called informed consent. I alone have the last word regarding what happens to my body, as well as who – whether it is cancer treatment or the right to end a pregnancy I don’t want…or who I share a bed with.

I’d say this lady sure as hell knows what she wants:

Not everything goes as planned, which is why freedom of choice rules. It is no accident that these times give us so many inventive forms of birth control just as we have a environmental and overpopulation nightmare going on (I’d say that’s what “god’s plan” is). Technology advances for a reason – to allow us choices we would not have had back in, say, the 1950s. (If you don’t like technology, then stay the heck off them airliners – god didn’t give you wings, right?)

Coerced pregnancy does not have a place in a free society. A theocracy, yes. A totalitarian society, yes. And in those societies, note how coerced abortion is the other side of the same coin as forced childbearing. It’s an easy flip of the switch, once the totalitarian machinery is in place.

But not here in the Land of the Free, at least, not for real Americans. Real Americans don’t vote against freedom of choice, or individual liberty, or god-given free will.

Reading the Roe v Wade decision, we see that there is no requirement to have an abortion. There are no protesters outside maternity wards, screaming at women not to have their babies. You are free not to have an abortion just as you are free not to have a kid. It’s the same “on all sides,” this freedom of choice thang. But, if legal abortion threatens your “faith,” then that ain’t a faith worth having – and I’m having none of it.

If you don’t have my back on all of that, you don’t have my vote:

We’re at a point in human history where we don’t need to have kids. They don’t complete everyone’s picture, and cost-wise, they are a luxury. I am not about to shirk my responsibilities in helping resolve some of humankind’s problems now, instead of lazily passing them off to the next generation of unknowns. We need clean air now, not 40 years from now, and it may be a woman who will solve this issue – if she isn’t saddled with another unplanned corporate consumer.

Motherhood – and parenthood – is only genuine and loving if it’s freely given. Otherwise, it is mere production. Thus, I err on the side of making this a society where every child is absolutely wanted and cherished, and dripping with their parents’ love and ever-present attention.

I wish the US was a country that loved children, but it isn’t. It has a fantasy-like love affair with fertilized eggs and beliefs, but no respect for the effort it takes to actually carry a fetus to term and then raise the resulting child in what can be a very harsh reality.

So, how can we love kids through meaningful action? Let me count the ways:

But don’t worry your pretty little head on that last one – you can still pay $1000 a month for insurance if you want to. I assure you, insurance firms will come up with a plan, just for you! And they will take your money, if that’s what does it for you.

As Nancy Pelosi, Tim Kaine and many others spoke in front of the Lincoln Memorial on this cold, but sunny and beautiful winter’s day, I snapped this picture of the woman in front of me, and it’s a perfect way to end this blog, reminding everyone to vote, because if you’re a woman or person with a uterus, your life is on the line. If you’re a man, just think of anti-abortion laws as mandatory fatherhood and child support payment laws, because that is just what they are, if you #FollowtheMoney.

Be Well and Free,
Alison

PS – Thanks to Matt Neufeld for two photos in this article, including the featured photo of me at the 2018 DC Women’s March to the Polls at the top of this blog, and where indicated via caption. All photos © Alison Lorraine or Matt Neufeld.